well not completely anyway...

I admitt to having not feeling quite like myself,
and not at all cheerful. The main reason being
the odd hours workin at mcDonlds making it damn
impossible to sleep or write.

But does mean am gettin money in which means buyin
dvds and visiting friends, which is definately gd
thing right now. Since am stuck in dunblane, in the
house on my own... since the family fucked off on
holiday for the entire summer without me.. but meh
i dont like caravans anyway.

Oh i tried dying my hair blue... which for those tht
know me... know how much ive always wanted to do tht.
and how much it means to me.... and well yeh it fucked
up and i looked like a right tit...
So i thank my sister for having not gettin round to
dying her hair and for leaving the dye here... am now
back to a colour very similar to my natural colour...
and odd shade of brown... but weird thing is it looks
so unnatural...
Its only been about 4years... since i started dying my
hair... and i admitt i pretty much keep it away from
the natural shade of brown as much as possible...
This actually weird.. you'd think i was a natural red
head... it suits me WAY better thn brown, lol.

But other nasty problems... my joints are all trying to
kill me, which have led me to believe or i should say
confirm... i have old ppl joints... "Acting mature when
ur young... just means u get old joints before ur due"
my latest thought of the day, lol.
But meh... hopefully ill be able to write soon... fuck
knows i definately have both the emotional and physical
pain right now tht would normally put me in a writing
mode...

But i guess myself isnt myself.. i have began to disappear
and no one has really noticed.. but thts the joy of
bottling.. So my secret pain.. goes away for now.. not to
be discussed and hopefully not to be felt.

But i hopes everyone else is doing well... and having fun
and i will try to write at least one thing in july, lol...
so i dont feel so completely useless